Do We Push or Support?

Our boys will be three years old and five years old in June. Yes, we homeschool, and not for religious reasons–we’re actually not a Christian family, and we are truly very accepting of all beliefs (or lack of). We enjoy the flexibility of homeschooling, the bond forming in our family, and how our boys are growing and shaping.

Based on some of the judgments by others–including family–I am sometimes left wondering about the choices we’ve made in raising our sons. We don’t force anything upon them. We encouraged our oldest to try taekwondo, and while he was very gifted at it he asked to take a break after 6 months of training because he was uncomfortable with it (namely the forced stretching and the sparring). We’re not sure if he’ll return to it, but we’ll support him no matter his decision.

At their very young ages, our boys love and are interested in martial arts, camping, fishing, wilderness, engineering, baseball, hockey, football, gardening, trains, construction, books, trucks, airplanes, helicopters, animals, bugs, birds, dancing, and archery. The only one of these that we’ve remotely pushed upon either of them was martial arts; our oldest showed our youngest some moves, and while they know how to defend themselves and some of the drills, they’re not interested in much of anything else to do with the art–at least right now.

As for their other interests, they got into those on their own and we went along with it. When we took them to an outdoor supply shop and an RV lot, they expressed interest in camping, fishing, and archery. Anytime either of the boys hear music–since they were around six months old–they start dancing and will even request that we play certain songs for them to dance to. My husband and I are football and hockey fans, so those interests were basically inherited by exposure, but their desire to learn baseball formed entirely on their own–we just bought the soft-strike T-balls, bat, and gloves so they could practice and play. Both boys perk up and take notice of and interest in airplanes, helicopters, trains, trucks, and construction sites (and my parents–their maternal grandparents–work in the construction field). For more than a year they’ve requested a place of there own in our yard so that they could grow vegetables and flowers, and now we have a garden that they help care for. Bandage Dad and one of their uncles are engineers, and both boys love museums and science centers. Since the boys were tiny we’ve read them books, and we make it a point to read at least one book, story, or book chapter every night before bed. The boys love the menagerie of animals, birds, and bugs attracted to our home and the canal behind our house, in addition to what they see at zoos, aquariums, and while camping.

We don’t feel it’s necessary to push or pry things onto them. Their interests are wide, and when they tell us about something they like or enjoy or are interested in, we pursue it with and for them. When I was little, I liked to dance, so my parents enrolled me in ballet. I’m not entirely sure why I quit, but I do know that I stopped when I was five or six…only to continue country line dancing (which I still do) and develop an enjoyment of instruments (namely the flute and piccolo, which I played for nine years). Bandage Dad was pressured into choir, ballroom dancing, and piano–all of which he disliked and quit as soon as he was able. He loved skiing, soccer, tennis, swimming, and hockey, which were hobbies he became interested in on his own.

As kids, we noticed how we felt when we were pushed into something and when we were allowed to do what and as we enjoyed. We wish that for our boys as well. We will support their decisions and introduce them to new things, but we decided a long time ago that we’d never push or pressure them into anything.

We have no plans of having them join a little league or softball team; we bought them bats, balls, and gloves because they tired of their plastic set and wanted to try something that felt more grown-up. If they become interested in joining a team, then we will let them, but we won’t drag them to try-outs because other parents have their kids in sports. Besides, baseball is something else that we get to do with them. And we have no intention of sending them off to camp or into Cub or Boy Scouts, especially when we love and enjoy camping, hiking, and fishing right alongside them and it gives us something more to do as a family.

We genuinely feel like we support their decisions and interests. We don’t push or influence what they do or take part in. We know plenty who would disagree with us and say we should get them into this club or that sport or what-have-you, as though kids can’t make decisions for themselves. Infants have the capability of deciding what music they respond to, what positions make them comfortable, and what foods they prefer. Kids–including toddlers–definitely have the ability and the right to choose what they like and want to do in terms of interests, sports, hobbies, and extracurriculars. It’s true that they don’t know what all is out there, but it’s our responsibility as parents and guardians to introduce things to them, not force them to like or do what we think they should.

As for homeschooling, this was and continues to be a unanimous decision among the four of us. Our boys get to learn how and what interests them and in what style of learning fits them (right now it’s learn-through-play), and daily we’re praised by strangers about our boys’ behavior and manners. Despite disapproval by others, we love the decisions we’ve made, and as long as our boys are safe, healthy, growing, and thriving, then we’ll continue along the course we’ve been on so far. No single method works the same way for any two families; our method is what works best for our family, and that’s what matters to us.

Pleasant journey,

Family Bandage

Celebrate you on Mother’s Day

As a mom, we tend to think of Mother’s Day as a time for others to celebrate and show appreciation towards us. After all, being a mom is a challenging, thankless, stressful job. It’s nice to be the center of attention and receive treatment on this one day each year. I enjoy it as well.

However, moms should celebrate themselves too. It’s not so much in an effort to improve self-esteem or a feeling of self-worth either. It’s about taking care of yourself and building self-compassion. Remember: you and what you do are not minor, small, or insignificant. How would you encourage and cheer up a friend in need of a boost? You’d tell her she’s important, she’s loved, she’s appreciated, and so on. This is what you should tell yourself too.

Your child(ren) need and appreciate you more than they could ever verbally express, and if you look at all the little things–how they cry for you when they’re sad or hurt, how they act out around you, the hand-made cards and pictures, etcetera–they actually show you daily how very much they love you, how important you are to them, how comfortable they are with you, and how much they need you.

Moms are irreplaceable and invaluable to their kids and husbands/partners. Sometimes we sell ourselves short, but we shouldn’t. We must remember that without us, there wouldn’t be them, and then this world would be emptier without them…and you. We gave and give them life and meaning every day, not just on the day they were born or adopted.

Whether you’re a mom, step-mom, grandmother, or adoptive mom, you are irreplaceable. And that is why you need to take time for you as well–if you don’t, they won’t have you, and their life would be a whole lot emptier. So remember how very much you are loved and appreciated, especially today, because no matter how you feel or sometimes think, you really are loved and appreciated more than you will ever realize.

Happy Mother’s Day,

Bandage Mom

There Is Nothing Like Family Closeness

This has been a rough week for us; Bandage Dad has been gone since early Monday morning on a business trip and will return tomorrow (Thursday) night.

What–that doesn’t sound like a big deal? For us, it is.

This is only the second business trip to take him away from his family. The first one was when our oldest was only 13 months old, and since he was so young our oldest doesn’t remember it. Essentially, this is our boys’ first time away from Daddy, and since they’ll be 3 and 5 next month they fully understand and feel Daddy’s absence. And yes, since we’ve been married this is also only the second time we’ve been apart for more than a day.

We didn’t anticipate he’d go on another business trip without us, but after weighing options and taking a look at finances, we determined a solo trip was the best option. Perhaps it was the best choice financially. However, we now feel it wasn’t the right choice overall.

We are an extremely close family, and we’re also a rare breed. We have every breakfast and dinner together, and on the weekends we also have lunch together. We do family story time every evening before bed, and when Bandage Dad isn’t at work then the four of us are together, whether we’re camping, doing housework, fishing, going to the zoo, shopping, or whatever the case may be.

We are always together and we love it, so we have a closeness and bond that most don’t understand.

This week hasn’t been hard only on the Bandage Boys either. Bandage Mom and Dad don’t like time apart. We cuddle at night and are that ridiculous couple that displays public affection. Many look at us and think we’re newly-weds, but in June we’ll be celebrating 12 years of marriage. We love each other truly, deeply, and infinitely. Yes–love like that does still exist even in today’s world.

Okay, right about now you’re probably thinking this is all a bit too mushy and silly. You are entitled to your own opinion too. We believe families that don’t have mealtimes together or do just about everything together are really missing out on what truly helps define what “family” means.

We really can’t wait for Bandage Dad’s plane to land tomorrow evening. We’ll be there to pick him up from the airport, and I anticipate a very emotional reunion. The Bandage Boys have cried every day, several times, missing and longing for their Daddy. Our oldest has trouble going to sleep, and our youngest wakes up crying for Daddy.

No, there’s nothing like family closeness. Being apart hurts beyond words, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. That pain means we’re doing something right and that we all have a bond and share a love that stands the test of time and distance.

We love and miss you so much, Bandage Dad!

Family Bandage

April Showers in the Form of Tears Can Teach the Importance of Family Bonds and Traditions

Bandage Mom’s (my) grandmother passed away on April 1st. Yes, just last Monday.

Grandma had been suffering for some time, especially after she fell and broke her hip at the end of January this year. Two years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Due to her age, her doctor gave her no more than 6 months to live. Again, that was two years ago. Due to the love and support of family–namely her daughter (Aunt Janet) and son-in-law (Uncle Bob), who became her caregivers–she lived a much longer and very full final two years.

The entire family is traditional and close, although not nearly as close as it used to be. Until Grandpa passed away 10 years ago, our (very large) family gathered every Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving at their home. After he passed, the get-togethers decreased, mostly because Grandma was aging and now alone and unable to make the preparations for the holidays on her own. Attempts at having holiday gatherings at other homes were made, but that didn’t last. After a few years, the gatherings stopped completely and extended family saw one another rarely…and never again all at once until.

Easter weekend (March 30-31), we knew we were losing Grandma. She hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink in over a week, her condition didn’t allow her to get an IV for fluids or nutrients, the pain from her broken hip had become overwhelming, and she was so weak that she could no longer function or communicate. We visited her and family that weekend and then returned home late Easter evening. Very early the following morning, Grandma passed away. That was also Bandage Mom’s brother’s birthday.

We are all glad she is no longer suffering and in pain. However, we’re all still healing from the hole in our hearts. She was not only Mom/Grandma/Great-Grandma/Great-Great-Grandma; she was an angel, an inspiration, a friend, and the glue that held the family together.

The services to celebrate her life were on Thursday, and there was so much pain and so many tears. Once again, Grandma had brought the family together, though not in a way any of us wanted. Many were meeting our boys for the first time, and our boys had so much fun meeting and playing with their “new” cousins (the children of my cousins).

But it shouldn’t take the death of a loved one to reunite others, and many of us realized that. We saw how much we had to talk about, how we were there for each other, and how we cried and laughed together. So then why had it been years since our family got together? And why does it take death to wake us up?

Sure, there are reasons…or excuses. Time. Work. Family obligations. Frankly, those “reasons” suck. Nobody will ever look back and be grateful for not making the time, not rearranging work, and not working through obligations to see family. Family is the one constant in your life, even if it’s inconsistent. That may not make sense, but no matter what may be going on with family–feuds, jealousy, problems, or whatever–family is always there. Family is consistent even in inconsistency.

Bandage Mom and some of her cousins vowed that night to figure out a way to keep Grandma and Grandpa’s traditions alive. We all grew up playing and celebrating together, and all of our kids should be so blessed. Family is so important, and we miss getting together. Our first step was creating a Facebook group just for the family, and that’s now been done. Now we need to establish a family get-together that doesn’t involve tears and farewells.

Although March was difficult and April started off (and has so far been) very painful, we can at least take away from it the very valuable lesson of family bonds and traditions. Don’t wait until something like death reunites family. Keep bonds and traditions alive and going for as long as the family surname lives on. You’ll never regret doing it, you’ll only regret not doing it.

Live, laugh, and love,

Family Bandage

Spring Into Spring of 2013

A lot of North America is still covered in the white stuff, but Spring is officially here. Fortunately, the ground can’t be covered in snow forever. Whether or not it’s still cold where you are, now is a good time to find out what types of things you and your family can do or look forward to doing during one of the prettiest seasons of the year.

Yes, we’re well aware of “Spring cleaning,” but we tend to not be traditional in that sense. We pick up, declutter, and clean up year-round. Easy to accomplish? No, but when you have two quickly-growing, highly-energetic little boys–as we do–it’s necessary…otherwise things just take over.

So we’re looking past Spring cleaning.

There are so many things you and your family can do together, even if you’re not planning on going anywhere for Spring Break. Sometimes it’s best to have a stay-cation and avoid the hustle and crowds of Spring Breakers. There’s a lot going on right where you live, and if by chance you live in the city of ho-hum or don’t like what is taking place in your area, you can still make it a great season.

Scavenger hunts are great, and almost everybody regardless of age enjoys them. For those who can read, write down clues from one location to the next. For those unable to read (such as very young children), take pictures of clues to take them from one place to another. How you end it is up to you. A surprise picnic? A new book? Maybe the car, all packed and ready for a little road trip?

Planting a garden is beneficial in so many ways, and most flowers and edibles need to be planted during the early-to-mid parts of Spring. What’s great is there are as many ways you can plant a garden as there are lessons and benefits. By growing your own vegetables, you can save money and rest assured your produce doesn’t have pesticides and isn’t GMO. Kids can learn so much from gardens, from taking care of something (if you don’t or can’t have a pet) to experiencing first-hand how important and worthwhile it is to have patience. And if you plant flowers, you’ll be amazed at the types of butterflies and birds your garden will attract, and the bees and all of nature will thank you and benefit. Hey–was that a hummingbird?!

Go camping…even if it’s just in your back yard. Many stores are discounting outdoor equipment such as tents and sleeping bags right now because the season for hunters is winding down. You don’t need anything fancy. If you really want to get adventurous, experiment building a tent with a tarp and twine. If you’re thinking about a campfire, however, make sure your area isn’t in a burn ban right now due to drought.

Slow down, literally. Go to the park and feed the fish and ducks. Toss around a flying disk or ball. Draw out some chalk squares for a game of hop scotch. Take advantage of that windy day and go fly a kite. Check out a book about animal tracks from the library and go exploring. Try out a GPS adventure, like geocaching or tourality (you can find out more information about those and others by clicking here). The bottom line is to just get outside. Follow your child’s lead because they’re very curious and adventurous, not necessarily being easily distracted. So when he stops mid-walk to admire an ant mound or bird, don’t hurry him along; join him…and savor that moment.

These are just a few ideas. There are so many, so don’t stop here. We have ideas on Pinterest as well as our website too. Take advantage of this season; it’s a short one. It’s also a sign that we’re already 1/4 of the way through 2013. Where have the days gone? There’s no point in looking back now. Look forward and enjoy Spring with your family.

Enjoy the season,

Family Bandage

What Birthdays Mean To Us

We may be getting off the subject of deals and ideas here, but birthdays is still a very important family topic. Everybody looks at them differently. How do we look at them, and what do they mean to us?

Bandage Mom celebrated her 33rd birthday yesterday. She has two wonderful boys, has an amazing marriage, has her health, is in the early stages of her own at-home business helping other families (Family Bandage), is homeschooling… She has so much to be thankful for.

Not once has she dreaded a birthday. She’s not keen on others making a deal about it because she’s not fond of being the center of attention, but a birthday is nothing more than another day that marks another year gone by…and survived.

We have had several friends and family members that passed away at very young ages. One was a freshman in high school. So every birthday that comes is certainly worth celebrating and being grateful for having.

We know many who dread birthdays. We even know some who have cried and gone through periods of depression because of their birthday. To each his/her own, but we just don’t understand that.

When you have a birthday, you do not age an entire year in a day; you only age another day. And it’s your day, as well as an opportunity for others to celebrate you. Birthdays should not be dreaded; it should be something that you look forward to arriving.

Why? Because it means you’re still alive. You have more life to live and experience.

This is what birthdays mean to us. Yes, you’re another year older, but really you’re only another day older. The point is that you are getting older, and that’s a blessing. That’s something to be thankful for because there are others who can no longer celebrate this.

And we’re pretty sure they wish that they could.

So do it while you still can. We do.

Our Formal Goal

We’re not trying to be like anybody else. We are trying to stand out and help others. If you’ve ever wondered what it is we officially hope to accomplish with Family Bandage, here it is:

Our goal is to provide the resources, assistance, and tools necessary to strengthen family bonds, encourage families to become more active, and help families find ways to save money.

We love doing things together. We love being together. We love being active. We love new experiences. We love saving money. And we understand how important these things are for families and how difficult it may be to accomplish them. That is why we created Family Bandage: we want to make that easier.

There just aren’t very many (well, we haven’t found any, really) reliable resources out there that focus on helping families in every way possible. There are many websites that have parenting tips, ways to save money, homeschooling resources, vacation and traveling deals, and tons of activity ideas, but it can be cumbersome searching the Internet for these. It’s out there, but you’ll find that you get pulled in hundreds of different directions trying to get there, all while weeding out the red tape, spam, and broken links.

You need one website that you can depend on that provides family-related, money-saving ideas and resources in one place. We are that source.

We want to make being a family easier and more affordable. Families just aren’t families anymore; it can be expensive, challenging, and seem impossible, far-reaching, or out-dated. If we can help change that, we will. And if we’re missing something you’re looking for, let us know and we’ll get it.

We genuinely want to help you. That is why we are here. We love what we do, and we want to share that with you.

Sincerely,

Family Bandage

Get Your Family Outside…and save money!

GYFO can be inexpensive, and much of the time it’s free. If you live in a house, apartment, or condo, you likely have available greenery nearby, in the form of a yard or courtyard. It doesn’t cost anything to venture there.

Our property doesn’t have a large back yard; our house sits on a modest 1/4-acre lot. We make do with what we have though and over the course of four years put a large swing set and small sand box out there. Those along with our miscellaneous collection of balls, bubble-mowers, tricycles, and other outdoor toys have turned our small back yard into our very own convenient playground.

We’re not saying you need to go to this extreme (please keep in mind most of these toys were second-hand items, things left out by the road in front of somebody’s house, or gifts from others), and we’re not assuming that you even have available lawn space for outdoor activities and structures (we’ve lived in an apartment too and can relate), but this is another reason why our boys love going outside: simplicity.

If you have a box of toys that are just for the outdoors or a soccer ball or baseball and gloves, you can also take advantage of your apartment or condo’s outdoors. In the grand scheme of things, you don’t necessarily need your own private space or yard. Activities like hop-scotch, jump-roping, and skating can all take place on a sidewalk or empty parking lot, so the lack of grass is by no means a deal-breaker.

Then there are parks, with and without playgrounds. Most of them don’t cost anything to enter; others are on a donation honor system, while some do charge admission (especially larger state and national parks). You don’t need toys, but most of those are inexpensive enough to pack and bring along.

Regardless, going to any city, county, state, national, or non-profit park is going to be cheaper (and cleaner, although that’s another topic) than amusement parks and indoor playgrounds. Our boys have yet to visit Disney or Sea World, although we live in Florida and less than 2 hours from them. It really doesn’t matter to them either; parents and media ingrain brands and characters into our children’s heads.

For instance, our oldest son loves trains, not Thomas or Chuggington; those names make no difference to him at all, so long as there are trains, with or without bells and tracks. He likes Thomas and Chugginton because they’re trains, not because it’s Thomas and Chuggington. He really has no preference. If trains have no brand, like those generic wooden trains that attach via magnets that Target sells, he’d be just as happy. It probably really makes no difference to your kids either. It all depends on what you put your focus on. Again, all they want is to play and be with you. Parents need to spend more time and less money.

As far as outdoor toys are concerned, you don’t need to spend a fortune on those. Our family shops thrift stores (we love Goodwill), yard and rummage sales, and consignment stores (namely Once Upon A Child) for most toys, especially those that will be used outside and will get ruined or dirty anyway. We wipe things clean with soap and water or some all-purpose cleaner (just wipe it down with a wet rag afterward), spray them down with something like Lysol (again following up with a wet rag), or soaking them in a tub of warm soapy water or warm water and bleach (just rinse well).

If you insist on new play items, request them as gifts or check out the clearance/sales sections of stores and end-of-the-season sales. Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Toys-R-Us, and Sports Authority have sales and clearance sections, usually clearly marked, and Big Lots, Ross, and Marshall’s sell toys at very inexpensive prices. When shopping new, we always search for the marked-downs.

This may sound a little extreme, but here’s something else that we do: We keep a small canvas bag in our vehicle at all times that is stocked with outdoor toys, including a couple of toy cars, a small soccer ball, a small football, two flying disks, a pale and shovel, and some sidewalk chalk. It doesn’t matter where we are, we have stuff they can play with outside. If we’ve been running errands all day and we want to give the boys a little break, then one of us will run into a store and take care of some shopping while the other takes the boys and that bag of toys to the far end of the parking lot, the sidewalk, or a small grassy null so they can play just play and take a break. It’s a win-win for everybody and there’s no stress; after all, shopping isn’t fun for anybody, especially kids.

So when you GYFO, you’re saving money as well. We need to spend more time with and less money on our children and family. In the end, the money doesn’t matter, but experiences do.

Our apologies for our lack of posts recently…

We’d like to extend our sincerest apologies for not keeping up with blog posts and articles lately. We’ve had some family situations in the last few weeks, and last week (from 2/17-2/22) we were battling the stomach flu that’s been going around.

It appears that things are returning to some sort of normalcy around here and we’ll be blogging again this week.

Although we’ve been unable to write any articles, we have been keeping up the website. Please visit www.FamilyBandage.com every week day for updates and additions to our lists of deals, ideas, tips. resources, and more.

Thank you for sticking with us and following Family Bandage!

Sincerely,

Family Bandage

Road Travel Resources

When anybody travels any place, especially by vehicle, it’s important to plan ahead. It’s also invaluable to have resources while traveling.

We’ve been working for months at providing this information on our website, and we can finally consider it complete. We’ve found traffic, rest area, interstate, and exit maps, resources, and guides for every state, DC, and Canada. This information is readily available on two pages: Idea Bandages and Extra Aid.

Now it’s easier than ever to plan your route, find out about traffic and weather conditions, and locate rest areas, welcome centers, and exits along the way. As always, never attempt to do any of this if you are the one driving.

If at any point you encounter an error or broken link, please contact us to let us know. We will make any corrections necessary. Remember: we are here to help you and your family.

Please take advantage of these and all of the other resources provided on our website. We really appreciate your support!

Safe journey,

Family Bandage